A500.2.3.RB_MilliganSteven
Tell Your Story
LIfe is full of complicated gray areas that require a lot of critical thinking and standards that will help you to guide yourself through life. Without these standards life's difficult questions can be impossible to answer. It can be difficult to choose the right path to go down and can lead to unfortunate outcomes. The standards that are a big part of my life have originated from three significant areas. The first two are my family and my faith. I was raised in a family that instilled morals and standards that I have carried with me since I was a small child. The faith I was raised in reinforced these standards and instilled a sense of morality that I will carry with me always. It wasn't till later on in life and I was able to get out of my parents home and see the rest of the world that I realized what a significant impact these standards had been. These are honesty, love, work and integrity. With these standards I feel like I can approach any situation and make the most right decision. I understand that many problems in life can be approached from many different avenues and that for different people there will be a different answer. Just like with raising children there is no one right way to do it. For some, a child needs to be rocked to sleep at night; for others 8:00 and straight to the crib they go; for another that child may sleep in the same bed as the parent for a long time. One thing I learned however is that all parents are different and all children are different. What works for one will work completely different for another. While I am still new to the parenting gig I still tend to ask others for advice. Most of the time it is to see if what I am doing as a parent is radically different from what others do or if it is on par and other parents agree with my decisions. While I may not completely change my parenting style if I found that others did things completely different it may help me to see things in a different light and be able to learn more about ways that could help me to raise my child.
The same can be said for morals and standards. A standard that is right for me may not be right for someone else. While I may share standards with someone we may not carry them out in the same ways. After moving out on my own and making some mistakes I quickly realized how important the standards. The first standard being honesty. Now I understand that in some situations that plain and blunt honesty can be more hurtful than helpful. I have geared the honesty standard to myself. Can I look in the mirror and not be ashamed of the things I have done that day. Have I taken advantage of someone or lied to someone or hurt someone's feelings. Can I sleep well at night and be happy with who I am. Love is the second standard. I feel that many standards can fall within this one. With love you will treat those around you with respect, you will say kind things and do your best to help others. You will do whatever it takes to better the lives of those around you and help all those you can. With love you can help others in their time of need and care for those that cannot care for themselves.
The third standard is work. Notice I didn't say hard work I only said work. Some situations call for hard work and others call for smart work. Sometimes that means staying late, leaving early, coming in early and staying up late at night working on school assignments. Work is what you do in life to better your standing in society and find meaning outside of the home. Part of the reason I wasn't to commission as an officer in the Air Force was because I wanted to be put in a situation when the people that worked under them needed something to happen I could be there to make sure it happened. Not because I wanted to be recognized or receive rewards, although they are nice to have, but because I know what I care enough to make sure my people get what they need and I don't have to worry about whether or not some else cares. When you love those around you and see them for who they really are you can truly make a difference in lives. This doesn't always mean doing what they want, sometimes it means doing what they need. Just like my seven month old. He doesn't always enjoy going to his crib during the day for nap. It usually involves a lot of crying and rolling around but after a few minutes he falls asleep and wakes up later a much happier baby. I let him cry because I love him not because I like listening to him cry. It breaks my heart every time but I know that a nap is best for him and so I do it anyways.
The final standard is integrity. Integrity at home, work, church and school. Integrity in knowing that what I do day in and day out is right for me, my family and those around me. It will lead to a truly happy life. You can't exercise leadership if what you ask others to do if you are not willing to do it. You can't have integrity if you expect others to stay late when something absolutely has to get done but you yourself decided to leave early or on time. You can't have integrity if you slack off at home and let the wife do all the cooking and cleaning and taking care of the baby. It is a partnership and I have to help out as much as I can. Even if that means staying up late to work on school and work. With integrity and can look others in the eyes and ask them to go the extra mile because they know I will be out in front doing just the same. As a leader you have to work harder, longer and smarter in order to be a good leader. This doesn't mean staying all hours and letting family life fall apart. It means you make sure everything gets done at work that needs to and when you come home you spend all the time you can with your family building those relationships of love and trust that will last throughout eternity.
Through the many gray areas in life I have been able to make what I feel are the right decisions and move on. The times that I have were when I wasn't following my standards and later when I came back and changed I realized exactly how lost I was and how far I could have gotten on a destructive path. It is these standards and have kept me alive and are leading me to the happy, fulfilling path that I am on.
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